The following blog is contributed by Stephanie Boatman, HNYTT graduate 2017.
My research on yoga for/on/in grief became all encompassing for me as I searched for peace, understanding and comfort for myself and my boyfriend, both of us struggling through the sea of loss at the same time.
As I began to help my boyfriend grieve the loss of his precious daughter, I felt unsure where to start. Then a few months later, the day before our first training, I lost one of my dearest friends and I had to find my way through crushing sadness. I was punched to my core and at times felt like I could not breathe. I knew I had to find my way on to my mat, but any type of strenuous asanas felt so overwhelming to me. More so, life felt overwhelming to me. I simply did what I could, when I could. Deep breathing, child’s pose, forward fold, savasana. Since those first few months of trying to find my way, I have come to understand that everyone experiences grief differently and it all needs to happen in a person’s own time and their own way. It takes as long as it takes. I believe that the patience and compassion with ourselves and others, is what allows the broken hearted to heal. Also, I have come to understand one of the most important things we can do for others when we know they are grieving is to simply show up. Be present. It is through our love and connection with others that helps us remember we/YOU are alive and that we/ YOU matter. This sangha, my teacher training community, has been that for me and provided strength and courage I needed to move forward through this grieving season... AND last by not least, practice. Be easy with yourself and do what you can, when you can.
On that note, I wanted to share some additional resources and information that I found to be helpful in my own journey as it relates to yoga and grief. I hope this information may bring you and those you love some comfort in your time of grief.
““Grief is just love with nowhere to go.” ”
Grief is the normal human reaction to any loss. Grief takes place in the mind, body and spirit.
The complex response is integrated in the limbic system, a series of interconnected structures
deep within the brain. It is a reaction to any loss, even though it is more often acknowledged
and understood when we grieve the loss of a dear one due to death. “ Antonio Sausys
( www.yogaforgriefrelief.com )
Ivy DeJesus writes, “Yoga commands us to let go, to surrender, to release attachments to that
which we do not need. The fifth yama, aparigraha, instructs us to release our attachment to our
possessions. Aparigraha—non-coveting and non-hoarding—can also be applied to our
attachments to our occupation, title and accomplishments. And it most certainly applies to our
attachment to our bodies. Every time we step onto our mat, we’re offering ourselves the
opportunity to welcome the practice of pratyahara. This fifth limb of yoga means to withdraw our
senses from the outer world. During a state of pratyahara, we release our clinging to the
external world; we let go of the need to touch, see, hear or feel anything beyond our true
essence. In this state of surrender, we are not concerned with how a pose looks, whether our
hips are tight—and as if by magic—our hearts become free to open. We no longer need
mementos and items of lost loved ones to feel their presence within us, and become fed by the
stillness found in the center of ourselves. During pratyahara, we connect to our true
essence—which is unchanging.” (thepurplemat@wordpress.com)
The emotional health benefits of yoga poses include:
● Distraction from the pain of the grief process
● Improved mood because of increased blood flow to your joints and ligaments
● Relief of the emotional and physical tightness and constriction caused by grieving
● Feelings of serenity and joy that come from moving your body in deliberate ways
● Relief of the exhaustion and deep fatigue that accompanies grief
● Increase of inner strength and peace, which helps with the grieving process
Practicing yoga won’t offer sudden healing for your sorrow and sadness. Rather, the benefits of
yoga poses for the grieving process include transforming your relationship to your feelings of
loss. The physical health benefits of yoga poses include:
● Optimization of your body’s ability to heal
● Improvement of joint functionality, which helps fight degenerative diseases
● Tuning up of your autonomic nervous system
● Improvement of your vital organ functions and lymphatic drainage
● Improvement of your ability to focus your mind
Grief and bereavement are natural and universal human experiences, which have a profound
effect on the mind, body and spirit. We experience physical, mental, emotional and spiritual symptoms of grief. In order to mourn fully we must move through the center of our pain to the
heart of our grief, instead of skirting around the edges. This journey through grief is a journey
through the heart and cannot be processed with rational thought alone. Yoga invites us to move
into our bodies in a deeply compassionate way, so we can begin to experience our grief in a
way that is self-supportive and nurturing. Though it is difficult to imagine how it could ever be empirically tested, Yoga's effectiveness in treating grief will hopefully one day be understood not simply in psychological or physiological terms, but in the language of the heart.
Below are helpful resources that I have found in my own personal journey and research:
Websites:
www.yogaforgriefrelief.com- Antonio Sauys- Somatic Therapist and Yoga Instructor ( studied
with Indra Devi among others) developed Sathana for working through grief- ‘Yoga for Grief
Relief” program- San Anselmo, CA
www.yogaforgriefsupport.com- Sandy Ayre- Occupational Therapist, Tertiary Pallative Care
Unit- Death and Grief Studies Certificate- Center for Loss and Life Transistion- Certified Yoga
Instructor-Edmonton, Canada ( + FB page, online classes and workshops)
www.yogaforhealthyaging.blogspot- Erin Collins- Certified Hospice & Palliative RN- Certified
Yoga Instructor- Bend, Oregon- Blog Article
Articles:
https://www.theadventurouswriter.com/blog/benefits-of-yoga-poses-grieving-process/
http://www.yogabasics.com/connect/yoga-blog/surrendering-to-grief-and-loss-through-yoga/
https://www.chinesemedicineliving.com/philosophy/the-emotions/grief-the-lungs/- Breathing
exercises
Books:
-"Yoga and Grief: A Compassionate Journey Towards Healing" by Gloria Drayer and Kathleen
Doherty
-"Yoga for Grief Relief" by Antonio Suasys
Some suggested yoga poses for the grief process gathered from various sources. Different
yoga poses focus on different chakras. Since many of us experience grief in our hearts and
lungs, these poses support the Heart Chakra (the Fourth Chakra):
-Balasana- child’s pose
-Supported Supta Baddhakonasana -reclined bound angle pose
-Forward fold(s) standing and/or seated
-Cobra Pose
-Fish pose
-Supported heart opener lying down with blocks
-Savasana ( supported)
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
Stephanie Boatman graduated from the 200 hour HereNowYoga Teacher Training in Fall of 2017. She is a realtor at Arc Realty in Birmingham, AL. She uses her meditation and asana practice to help balance the ups and downs of everyday life. She especially finds the "Insight Meditation" app helpful. She loves her boyfriend, two sons, her two cats, hiking, and going to the movies. This picture of her is from a recent trip to Maui.